Sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought life would be like and learn to find joy in the story you’re actually living. Rachel Marie Martin. I came across this quote on facebook last week and
I have written much over the years about consequences, rewards and sanctions, punitive punishment – behaviour modification. It is a recurring theme and something I can’t get away from, even as mine reach their early 20’s. Something that has happened recently
‘The Body keeps the score’ is a book by Bessel van de Kolk that was published in 2014. It talks about the impact of trauma on the body and how long-lasting these affects can be. It’s a book I read a
Birthdays when you are a child are special – at least they should be. It’s a day that is about you. People give you cards, presents, attention and generally it can feel good as others acknowledge their love for you. As
This week’s subject comes from the life of one of my other children – my daughter. This has been a continuous struggle for her in her teenage years, and probably before to be honest, and now is continuing in her early
A few weeks ago, I started a peer learning programme with fellow adopters around siblings. It’s an eight-week course where we look at the challenges in adoption on a particular area and learn from each other, as well as me giving
I’ve been thinking a lot this week about Attachment theory – not just in children (as I usually think about) but in us as adults. We were all brought up and have experiences in our childhood that have had a lasting
I was talking to my 20-year-old son yesterday in the car about what topic I should write about in my blog this week. His reply was “why don’t you talk about me?”. Anyone who knows my son will know this is
I wanted to title this blog ‘new year, same old’ as sometimes it feels like that. We get to this time of year and it all just feels old hat – predictable presents (although my kids did good this year), predictable
I hate endings. I think I always have. Whether that’s finishing a course with people, finishing a visit to a friend that I haven’t seen for a while or ending a 23 year marriage. All endings I hate. I’ve never really
We often say stop digging when people are prying into our lives or when they have said something they shouldn’t. It’s a common phrase and one I’ve come to think of in a much different light. When I became a parent,
There’s a high-profile celebrity case going through the courts in America now. I’m not going to mention who, or how I feel about it, but it has got me thinking about judgement. Someone said this morning that we judge so that
I’m still completely at a loss, after all these years of working with vulnerable children and young people in schools. Why does it still seem to be the preferred way of managing behaviour? What, I hear you cry! Well, punishment, sanctions,
There have been so many things lacking in the last few years as we’ve gone through this Covid experience. Connection with others, being able to enjoy parties, events and generally being able to do what we want to. As I look
I don’t think I’ve ever turned to social media before and seen so much stress around. Teachers and school staff seem overwhelmed with the current pressures of COVID along with the normal pressures of education. Parents are buckling under the uncertainty
For along time now I’ve known that lived experience is a powerful thing. Those who go through extreme adversity in their lives often end up helping others through similar experiences. It doesn’t always happen of course. Sometimes life can be too
I’ve come across this word ‘advocate’ many times over the years that I’ve been involved in adoption. It’s a word we use early on to talk about what we will have to continually do as parents for our children. We advocate
2020 might go down in history as the strangest year ever! I’m sure previous generations would have something to say about that. Post either of the world wars? Post the industrial evolution? Post the demolition of the Berlin wall? Many moments
