I’m often surprised at how quickly opportunities can switch over to overwhelm and vice versa. If you’re thinking of those summer months ahead and wondering if it will bring great opportunities for rest, fun, refreshing, or overwhelm of too much time to think, children with nothing to do and endless rainy days (in the UK anyway), then you’ll understand. These two very different feelings and states seem to be close to my heart at the moment. These last few months especially have seen great chances to grow our business and with our family too – good things are happening. And then there’s the feeling of ‘will this work? what happens if it doesn’t?’ and the endless feelings of stress that come from taking on too much.
I wonder actually whether these two sides to the same coin are always a factor of life for us all. Sometimes we are more aware of it then others and sometimes it can feel like you’re about to sink and other times you’re about to soar. Holding these two aspects in tension is becoming a daily routine for me presently.
What impact does this have on us I wonder? I know for myself if there weren’t things to do or be involved with I would find them. Both my husband and I have always been the type of people to do a lot. Of course there’s that old saying ‘if you want something done ask a busy person’ and that’s true. I know for myself and others around me the ones who seem like they are doing all they possibly could somehow find a tiny inch of space in their lives to take on something else, whilst those who seem to have huge capacity to do more – don’t!
The constant stress levels are taking their toll though. Tiredness, irritability, sleeplessness – all signs of doing too much of course. I don’t know if I’ve ever got this right for myself. And of course for those other adoptive parents out there you know how this works. Things seem to be going along nicely so you agree to sit on that committee or organise that event and then wham all of a sudden all hell breaks lose – school calls, friends dis-invite you to their BBQ and your children start having mega meltdowns about going to bed. You have to pull back again. It’s hard to commit to things when our lives can be so unpredictable.
I do know though for myself stepping out of life is not an option. Not doing the things I love and the things that give me energy will only make matters worse. Even if I feel a tad overwhelmed at times the incredible feelings of achievement and purpose I gain other times totally outweigh the overwhelm. So whilst we have to be careful and always be assessing that balance, I do believe we should go wholeheartedly for the things that give us joy and purpose. In the end they will be the things that last.