Moving out and moving on

I am aware I have gone quiet again. For those who follow me regularly you will know I went quiet for a few years and then at the start of this year (2023) I resurfaced and began writing regularly again. I apologise that over the last few weeks I’ve gone into hiding again and for […]

Compliance is not always good

I spent the day on Thursday last week comforting my 16 year old daughter after she opened her GCSES results. I know it’s not an uncommon occurrence to feel disappointed at the results you may have received when you feel you did your very best, but it is just another indicator of how difficult our […]

The hunger drive

I’ve been thinking about food and being hungry for some weeks now, not just because I’ve been on a detox…but because it’s come up in lots of different places I’ve been in. Understanding how our bodies work, in terms of our physical needs, can be confusing at times. I must admit as a parent of […]

Worry Worrits

Worrying is not just an adult thing. Many children and young people are showing more signs of anxiety, statistics tell us. In a recent article in the Telegraph it was stated that the number of young patients treated in hospitals for anxiety has increased by 42% over the last year. In 2015/2016 alone there were […]

New Year, New You?

This seems to be the phrase going around at the moment and I’m not sure how I feel about it. There are so many things that it conjures up for me. The expectation that as it’s a new year everything that was bad about last year will have miraculously disappeared overnight. Or that the things […]

What’s your story?

I was listening to a friend talking last week about vulnerable young people in our community. She was talking about how many there are presently, why they might be classed as vulnerable (which we can all be at times) and how we can help them. One of the phrases she used has stuck with me […]

Younger does not necessarily mean easier

I’ve just come off the radio with BBC WM talking about the fact that nearly half of the children waiting to be adopted in Birmingham are considered ‘difficult to place’ for a number of reasons. It may be ethnicity, disabilities, part of large sibling groups or their age. As an adopter of three siblings who […]

The mixed emotions of adoption

This week is National Adoption Week and as ever it has brought with it very many mixed emotions. I’ve been reading other people’s stories and comments online and my own experiences tell me just how complex this whole world of adoption can be. It is not an ideal situation to be in. No-one wants to […]

Wishing our lives away

Nearly five weeks into the academic year and I’m exhausted! Kids are exhausted too and I’ve heard many teachers and parents counting down the weeks if not days to half term. Surely this way of always looking forward to what’s to come can’t be healthy? Mindfulness has hit our schools and homes over the last […]

Back to school – fear or relief?

There’s been a lot of photos and quotes on social media these past few weeks talking about the feelings associated with going back to school. For children it may be apprehension or excitement. For parents relief and anticipation. For teachers mixed emotions around “where did the summer go” and “how can I last until half […]

Too young to learn yet too old to not know

There’s a phenomenon with young people with insecure attachment that has baffled me for years now. It all centres around the ability to learn new things. Mine are all teenagers and there are certain things I expect them to already know – how to tell the time, basics of money, what certain words might mean […]

The thing no-one wants to talk about

It’s been 8 years since we adopted and 18 years since we got married. To say that we have always been a volatile couple is an understatement. I thought after those 10 years together there couldn’t be anything else that could put a strain on our marriage and then our children arrived! Don’t get me […]

The impact of shame – Part 2 Lying

Probably one of the hardest behaviours to face in vulnerable children is lying. Of course that depends on your own values and feelings around this subject, but I’ve not met a person and particularly an adoptive parent yet who doesn’t get frustrated at the frequency and intensity of lying they get from their children. Mine […]

The walk of shame

When my three children were in Primary School I remember well the walk of shame. That moment at the end of the day when you’re waiting patiently for your children to come out. You see all the class come out and every other child is deposited to their adoring parents whilst you wait for yours […]

Survive or thrive?

This week’s theme is surviving strategies – what a great theme? One that we ALL need to hear and have probably struggled to find over many years. We’ve been in this world of adoption for about 11 years now – 3 on the process and 8 with our three children. Along this incredible journey there […]

Be brave in Education

I had a worrying and all too familiar email from an adoptive parent this week about her child’s experience at school. In this case a Secondary School but I know many children who have these experiences at Primary School too. I know I may also be preaching to the converted here as many of you […]

The things I thought I’d never do

Sometimes when you look back on your life and the plans you had when you were younger you might feel some regret at things you’ve not done. You may have wanted to climb Everest, leap out of a plane, become a popstar or astronaut. Or being a bit more realistic maybe – get married, have […]

No room at the Inn?

Our house is pretty full. With three young teenagers, my husband and I, a fish and a bearded dragon. So any more room left? Well after years of saying no to a dog I finally succumbed to the constant nagging from my children (and husband) and we bought a puppy last week. I can’t tell […]