What song are you singing?

microphone‘Alas for the one that never sings but dies with their songs still in them’ – unknown.

This was a quote used by the host of a business conference I was at recently and it’s stuck with me since then. I do love to sing but I don’t believe this is about being able to or even loving singing. This is about what’s special about us all that without it the world might not be such a great place.

Knowing who you are and what you contribute to the world is a really important thing I believe. Of course it’s always changing and growing and it doesn’t mean we settle for whatever it is we might be giving at the moment. There are lots of theories out there about what makes us happy and often they are about just that – US. It’s all about what I can do or what others can do for me.

The journey of adoption is a complex one actually. The motivations we all have are different and yet often quite similar. We want to have a family and can’t naturally, we want to give a child a home they need, we see how important it is to make a difference to a generation of lost children. All good motives and great songs to be singing. However is that it? When we then become a parent in this way and face the immense challenges that entails sometimes, do we then think we made a mistake? That maybe we’re not as worthy as we thought? That maybe we don’t have what it takes to heal a damaged child?

All valid questions and ones I’ve asked many times of myself and I’m not sure I could give an answer today. I do know though that we all have a unique song to sing and not just one but many. Whether that’s through our parenting, through our work, through our families and lifestyles – in whatever way it’s sung it still needs to be out there.

The problem I find is that often when we do sing we are judged or compared to others. We do this ourselves of course! My song isn’t as sweet as theirs, or as powerful as theirs. I don’t like my song, I’d like a different one. In fact I feel so inferior in my singing that I’m going to keep my song to myself. What happens then of course is that your presence isn’t felt in the world you are in. You may look at others and think “why can’t I sing like them?” but you can bet someone else is saying the same about you.

Maybe it’s the ramblings now of a wannabe pop star but I do hope that when I get to the end of my life that whatever songs I had to sing in whatever arena I had the courage to sing them. They may have been off-key sometimes but at least I didn’t die with them still inside me. What song can you sing today?

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Nicola Marshall

With over 13 years working in personal development Nicola Marshall has attained numerous skills and a genuine care for others. She is a fully trained coach, adoptive parent as well as the founder of Brave Heart Education.
Nicola Marshall
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